Accepting Myself For Who I Am... ...

Yesterday went to SP library wif Cheng they all...I absolutely LOVE SP's library... It has air-con...wireless...DVD for loan and even manga is out for loan... It is the only thing I actually like or even find acceptable in this shit hole of a school...The library is about the only thing in SP that actually impresses me... ...

Anywayz... ...I made a GREAT find at the comics section of the school's main library... ...I found a manga that may well change my way of life... ...

Genshiken: The Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture

The Otaku community of Japan is often played on and made fun of in manga...But finally I hav found a manga that accuratly describes the community without making fun of it...Well...Not THAT much fun anyway... ...

The manga mainly revolves a budding Otaku named Sasahara Kanji...He is an all rounder wif no particular "favorite" Otaku activity like cosplaying, playing fight games or reading manga...He is kinda interested in all aspects of the Otaku lifestyle... ...However, he has yet to accept himself for who he really is(An Otaku) because he views himself as normal and society does not consider Otaku to be normal... ...

He joins a college club called "The Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture" or "Genshiken" for short out of interest in manga and anime... ...However, after only spending a short amount of time wif the members of Genshiken, he decides that he is unable to fit in wif the rest of the Otaku as he is not as hardcore or extreme as they are... ...Fortunately...A fellow freshman(Kousaka Makoto), who is a hardcore on fight games, manages to persuade him to stay a bit longer and before long he finds himself fitting in wif the rest of them... ...It was also during his first trip to the Summer Comic Fest wif the rest of the crew that he let his true nature out... ...

After reading only the 1st vol I find myself relating to Kanji... ...And it is not jus the ,"Oh...I understand wat u mean... ..." kind of relate...It was more like the ,"I know exactly wat u mean!!!I am going through the EXACT SAME THING!!!" kind of relate... ...

I consider myself a part-time Otaku...Not because I do not want to be a full-fledged one...Jus that at the moment I do not hav much time to fuel my passion...And at my current statues as a student...I do not really hav the funds to bolster this expensive hobby... ...I do consider myself hardcore though(Considering my age and financial statues) ...If spending thousands of dollars on games and anime/manga related stuff at my age is not considered hardcore...I dun know wat is... ...But I try my best to live up to the title of "Otaku"... ...

There was this one scene in vol 1 of Genshiken that went like this... ...Kousaka Makoto(The fight game hardcore) invited Kanji to his house to play video games... ...The moment Kanji entered his apartment ,which is piled to the roof wif anime, manga and games wif game consoles lying every where AND posters covering every inch of his walls, he realized that, "What I lack is the courage to accept myself for who I am."

This scene struck a chord in me...And it was those extremely loud and low pitch types wif a resounding rumble... ...I was very shocked when I saw wat Kanji thought as it sort of awakened me...I realized that I (too) lack the courage to accept myself for who I am... ...

All this time I held back on my choice of figurines and kept my stash of posters secret jus because I was afraid of wat others would think of me...How my family would view me and how my parents would react to my hobby... ...

I forced myself to admire certain figurines from far and tucked my posters away instead of putting them up like they are supposed to jus because I was afraid how my family would react if they one day saw that my room suddenly had a collection of exotic(Not erotic ah...Mind u... ...) figurines and that my walls cant be seen anymore... ...

I hav decided! I will no longer stand for this! I will dive head first into my interest! There will be no turning back once I start! I will strive towards my goal of becoming a full-fledged Otaku!

Screw wat other ppl thinks! Or even wat my family thinks! I am SO buying Jungle Emi! I am SO putting up that (Almost) life-size poster of Rikku! I am SO putting up that poster of Ayanami Rei in a bikini!!!!!!!

I Will Find The Courage To Accept Myself For Who I Am!

Speaking of which... ...Genshiken has also convinced, or rather FORCED me to purchase manga which are published in America... ...America gets to publish lots of great manga but I hav managed to avoid buying any of them mainly because of the steep price and the fact that local Chuang Yi also has great manga for much cheaper prices... ...However...Because of Genshiken...I will hav to purchase the title from American publishers... ...

Of course it would be best if Chuang Yi also publishes Genshiken but I highly doubt they will even consider even if I went to write a petition... ...As Genshiken is an EXTREMELY accurate account of the Otaku community in Japan...It also include certain "Adults Only" references... ...I mean...Thats the way it is over there in Japan...Certain "stuff" that is deemed unacceptable here happens there... ...Of course the best case scenario would be if the government of Singapore legalizes ALL these "stuff". But this is, again, highly doubtful... ...